Alpine Heath

Our favourite local holiday destination is the Drakensberg. This can be anywhere from an hours drive to 5 hours drive, depending on which parts you go too. Generally, the further you go from Durban, the more impressive the mountains become.

A few months back we snuck off to Alpine Heath with some friends for a long weekend. The plan was simple, lots of exercise during the day by way of hiking, swimming, tennis, fly fishing and squash followed by beers and a braai each night. No complaints there.

Alpine Heath nestled in the mountain.

Four of us arrived before the rest of the group and as the day was a postcard of bright sun and blue sky, we decided to dump the bags, take a hike and unpack when we got back.

Fairly open...

...and easy most of the way...

...with a sprinkling of rock jumping here and there.

Mother nature decided that it was time for a curve ball. What started out as a picture perfect day soon had us holding onto our hats and other body parts as some of the strongest winds I've felt in a while decided to pay us a visit.

The slicked back look sans gel.

The only part of the trip that left us scratching our head was the "No open fire" rule at Alpine Heath. This was a bit of a problem as all we had brought with us for supper was braaivleis. We were then told that we could hire a gas braai from them at a cost of R50 a night so we could at least cook our meat. Now, I'm not sure about you but having to braai on a gas braai is about as manly as going for a facial. Needless to say, our idea of a perfect night around a large open fire with guitars playing and sharing wild stories of our bravery during our hikes was reduced to 8 people crowded around a small plastic table with a candle as our only source of warmth.

The following day the eight of us set off to investigate the opposite mountains. I should have guessed something would go wrong due to the fact that Jimmy was on the hike with us. Picture a guy well over 6 foot who weighs over 100kgs and has more energy than a six year old toddler on a sugar high. A recipe for trouble indeed. What started out as a gentle stroll soon turned into a cross country sprint that would have made Gebrselassie proud. Luckily, my athletic, racing snake physique kept me just ahead of the big lug which was a good thing until I came across a snake on the path. I pulled up the proverbial handbrake and stopped just in time only to have Jimmy run straight into the back of me and edge me even closer to the savage beast. Fortunately it was only a Spotted Skaapsteker and apart from a sore bite did not pose too much of a threat. The ironic thing about this little incident is that it is usually the Gov who is like catnip for snakes as she has encountered snakes on our last 3 visits to the berg. At least I kept the tradition going.

Alpine is a pleasant spot to go to and has all the necessary bits and pieces for a decent family getaway but as the name of this blog suggests, I am a pyromaniac and a cold night in the berg without a wood fire just doesn't seem right and I'm sure it is actually illegal in some far off country somewhere.

The worm wins... so far.

In my previous blog, I mentioned that a few lunatics at the Govs work decided to take on my bottle of Mezcal with the intention of finishing off the worm.

Alas, I have no pictures to show you as the boys, as hard as they did try, polished off  most of the Mezcal but couldn't bring themselves to eat the worm. The Gov, who was also spotted enjoy a sneaky tot, has said that the bottle is still in the hands of the mad men who, if they ever find the courage, will finish the bottle AND the worm.

Until then....

Mezcal explained.

Tequila. Mexican tequila, to be exact. Apparently the drink of choice when in Mexico. If the world went by what Hollywood and the marketing giants portrayed, we'd all picture a typical Mexican as a sombrero wearing, guitar tickling, tequila drinking person. But are we right?

Sombrero's, as popular as they were way back when, are definitely out nowadays and only the educated few have caught on to the fact that playing a guitar is the quickest way to a woman's heart. When it comes to tequila as the drink of choice, this is almost true.

Introducing: Mezcal

Mezcal is a close second to Tequila when it comes to popularity and is the drink you are generally thinking of that has a worm inside the bottle. Made in Oaxaca from the Maguey plant, mezcal has a strong smokey flavour and is drunk straight without any salt or lemon. Its 38% alcohol content is certainly not the strongest alcohol around but is still a force to be reckoned with.

The Gov had received a few requests for souvenirs from the lads at her work and made the mistake of bringing back a few single-shot bottles of mezcal containing mini worms from Cancun. Not content with their minuscule rations the guys were soon begging for more like a bunch of modern day Oliver Twists. Not one to disappoint, the Gov commandeered a super sized bottle from yours truly. After convincing me that it was in the interests of science, I gave in under one condition.... "I want pictures of someone eating the worm!"

The worm of the hour.

It turns out that the scientific experiment is to see whether these certifiable people can survive a dance with the worm tomorrow night at a drinks evening.

Tune in tomorrow.

Cancun, Mexico

Once we had conquered rustic Mexico like a pack of marauding Spaniards, we arrived at the Crowne Paradise Hotel in the hotel stretch of Cancun. Everything was included in the price so we simply had to drop our bags off, meet up with the final group of our family get together and we were set for the next week.

The view from our balcony.

After sorting out the small matter that the check-in staff had no booking on their system for the Gov and I, despite taking our cash quite happily 4 weeks prior, we eventually got into our room.

Our room.

We were fortunate enough to be in the one tower that didn't allow kids so hopefully we'd be able to get some sleep. You have to understand that Cancun is absolutely packed with either drunk college students screaming at each other or families with four little kids screaming at each other. Now that's a lot of screaming so being in the "no kids" tower was a gift from Yoda.

The plan of attack in Cancun is simple. Wake up, eat greasy food, lie by the pool or beach and fry yourself. Eat more greasy food for lunch with Corona or Margarita. Assume frying position again and drink more to drown out the screaming kids. A third helping of greasy food for supper and drinks and then wash it all down with Tequilas at the bar afterwards. Head back to your room to pass out and wake up and start process all over again. For some reason, we couldn't seem to feel any affect from the drinks that we were consuming. This was especially apparent when the Gov finished her fourth fishbowl sized Margarita and was still standing. This is impressive as usually after 2 glasses of anything she is howling at the moon. We were convinced that the Mexicans were being sneaky Russians again and watering the stuff down. So we headed to the bar and demanded Tequilas! Lots of them! By the next morning, we eventually found what we were looking for... a hangover.

Its game time!

There are the usual games and activities on offer. Water rides, jet ski's, parasailing, scuba diving, snorkelling, windsurfing, putt putt, volleyball, shops, arcades, basketball and the list goes on. At night, you could book from five or six different themed resaurants ranging from Mexican and Italian, to Japanese and French. This basically meant that you were eating the same greasy food diguised as something else.

We went to the Wild West Restaurant on one of our last nights. After a few watered down drinks my brother in law and I decided it was time to tackle the mechanical bull. After a quick signature assuring our hosts that we would not sue them, we each took a turn. I'm a little red faced to admit that neither of us could last very long. But having said that, the fact that my brothers session of 15 seconds was the record of the night proves that that is one psychotic bull!

Outdone by a ginger... eish!

We only had one run in with some yanks and this was lead, obviously, by my sister who is a NOT to be messed with! There's a rule around the pools that you may not book the poolside chairs by any means. Regardless of this, people would get up at 6am to run down to the pool and wrap their towels around the chairs and leave them there til about 9am or 10am when they felt like claiming them. This was not on for my sister who  marched up to two of them and folded up the towels and proceeded to claim the chairs for herself and her hubby. An hour or so later an American couple arrived and inquired as to what happened to the chairs they booked. With a growl my sister snapped "Read the sign buddy" and gestured for him to take a hike. The only response the poor yank could muster was "You shouldn't touch other peoples stuff" and slunk away with his tail between his legs. Lets just say that my sister will never be an Ambassador for our country.

We took a trip into the main town of Cancun and found out where all the crazy parties took place.

Everyones favourite!

A bit of shopping for the Gov.

Had a bite to eat.

Took in some general sightseeing.

We really enjoyed our trip to Cancun and if it weren't for the constant wind, and by that I mean the entire week, and the length of the journey, it would be one of the top vacation destinations for the entire world.

Fightforce 12

Now I know that MMA or Mixed Martial Arts is not everyones cup of tea but last night was the South Africa vs Northern Ireland clash at the Durban Exhibition Centre and the patriotism flowed as freely as the beer. I continually invite the Gov who has had some Jiu Jitsu training but refuses to come along and can't understand how I enjoy watching two half naked, sweaty men rolling around on the floor whilst hugging each other. Come to think of it, when you look at it that way, it does seem a bit odd.

Nevertheless, I went with my cousin, Needles, named so for the lack of visible strength in his lower legs and a great time was had by all. Twelve fights and only one of them making it out of the first round! A highlight was watching Needle's friend, Dain Neveling, fighting in the lead up fight to the two main fights. Dain won with some great striking against Ryan de Vasconsellos and finished it off with some strong ground n' pound.

Hector Britz vs Boyd Allen

The international fights saw a surprise loss for Martin "The Punisher" Van Staden to Ali Maclean by way of North South choke. Van Staden dominated in the standup, getting the better of Maclean in the early exchanges and eventually knocking the Irishman down with a left hook to the chin.Van Staden immediately pounced on him and unloaded some heavy shots which Maclean absorbed. Maclean made his way back to his feet and got caught in a standing guillotine. Van Staden pulled guard in an attempt to choke out his opponent but Maclean showed some excellent Jiu Jitsu skills as he reversed the position and got the tap out with a choke of his own.

The second international fight was in Middleweight division and saw Donavin "Bam Bamz" Hawkey secure the win over Lee McKibbin. The Irishmen charged him in the first few seconds of the fight aiming for the takedown but got caught by Hawkey in a standing guillotine. Hawkey, with his super strength, choked his opponent who tapped before the two of them even reached the ground.

So 1 - 1 it was by the end of the night and congratulations to all the winners. The full results can be found, in a day or two, on http://www.fightforce.co.za/ . For those of you who are a little lost and think I am speaking Greek, check out some Jiu Jitsu chokes and techniques on Youtube. Start with http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pnG0Gxd5kk for an explanation on the North South Choke. Stay tuned for the next fightforce competition.